math? wiz.

We have heard the adage: “Face your fear.” far too many times. They say that if you are afraid of heights, you should try staying on top of a really high building and look down, until you are able to get over your fear. If you are aquaphobic or hydrophobic, you should spend more time in water, swim often or live near the beach to overcome your fear.

Last May 10, 2009, along with around 75 other hopefuls, I took the qualifying examinations for the master’s scholarship program offered by the Civil Service Commission for those in the government service. The exam was one of the toughest I have ever taken – it seems more than 50% were Math questions and problems I have not encountered for the past…well, for a long, long time since I graduated from high school.

I was never good in Math. I am shameless to admit that. I do not know if it is a fear of numbers per se, or just the make of a brain that accommodates only textual and visuals, and completely shuts off when bombarded with numerics. I do not remember ever being good in Math. I had a home tutor for Algebra in second year high, which was not good because I belong to the upper 15% of my batch. Supposedly when you belong to that percentage you have free time all to yourself, not with some Math tutor. Anyway, as soon as my tutor left and I have assigned exercises it would take quite a while before I was able to get the formula correctly. I would get low grades in all Math subjects – Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry, Statistics – extremely low grades in contrast to my grades in other subjects. Looking back I realized I may have passed Math subjects then because my teachers conferred about the grades and ranking, and given my good grades in the other subjects the Math teachers doubted themselves: there must have been something wrong in the way they taught me. Anyway, for whatever reason, I’m thankful to have passed my Math subjects in HS.

Then came college, where I majored in English, with my course curriculum required only 3 units of Math: Math I. I was so happy with my 2.0 after a sem of grappling with those units. Then I had to take Math 11 at BCF while I was enrolled in the College of Law, because you cannot take the Bar without at least 6 units of Math. (I have 20 units of Spanish, can’t we just convert the extra units to Math? No puede ser?) My seatmates would let me copy because I was all sweet, and senior. I was a law student and they were just too happy to be the law student’s seatmates. Ha ha ha.

Despite the many questions in Math in my CSC-LMP qualifying exams, and this I consider one of the puzzling facts of this decade – I passed. I had to check and re-check the website list of qualifiers with my name on it, thinking there must be something wrong, they must have uploaded the wrong list. But I was called in for my interview so there was nothing wrong with the website. I hope I aced the interview too – thankfully it required no prowess in Math; I am so glad we normally just converse in words.

And that means I may be enrolling in a Masters Program – either for an MM or an MBA, which means I have to brace myself for Math subjects once again. Looking at the course syllabus for each program, the course titles were enough to give me the jitters.

But I am prepping up for the challenge. I think. I may have already matured enough (a bit?) to face Math head on. Does Math ability come with age? I have yet to find out. I hope I pass, and not, uhm, pass out.

I never did very well in math –
I could never seem to persuade the teacher
that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.
– Calvin Trillin

sun*star.baguio.4feb2010.

that queasy feeling

In a few days our eldest daughter, Celina Mikhaille, will be eleven. We have an eleven-year-old who will soon be turning into a teenager, then an adult. I was jolted into this reality while sitting on my couch, trying to relax but suddenly invaded with quite alarming thoughts. Kayla has a social dance on the 6th of February, a junior prom-slash-‘socials’ of sorts for fifth and sixth graders. I do not know exactly how it’s called, it’s a dance…where my daughter will be asked to dance…by boys. Sure, I feel excited for my daughter (talking almost nonstop about practices and table etiquette lessons and such every dinner time) but have that queasy feeling at the pit of my stomach. I realized it’s her eleventh birthday in a few days, and bam!!! There is now that huge knot inside I cannot seem to dissolve with my all-time tranquilizer, Coca-Cola. Bringing her for gown fitting and seeing how she looked dazzling in it did not help.

We are blessed with three daughters who all seem too wise for their age (don’t all mothers think that, anyway)…sometimes it feels like they were born adults, “old souls” as my Lolo Pedring tells them. More often than not it is easy to let them understand even the most complicated of things. We live in a world where there are a lot of strange things going on, and oftentimes you cannot simply evade their curious questions with “I’ll explain when you are older”, or “Someday you will understand”. Sometimes you have to address the questions straight up, confident (or at least feeling so) that they can and should learn about it better from you than anyone else (complicated Math problems NOT included). Well, even simple questions like – Kayla, when she was 2: “When a spider grows up does it become a crab?” (“No, baby, they are different species.”) Gelai, when she was 5: “Ma, why is the girlfriend ‘hot’?”, when she heard “Don’t cha think your girlfriend was hot like me?”(“She’s probably sick. Feverish.”) Nadine, barely 3, when I told her she should always be good because Papa Jesus is watching, “Where? I can’t see him aman (naman)” (“You can’t but He is just here beside you”. And she looked at me as if I were a basket case.)

Our kids are exposed not only to the strangest things, but also to complicated relationships and family issues that are part of who they are, part of their lives. We cannot shield them forever and leave them unaware of harsh realities. To deny them the truth and the explanations therefor would be to deny them a part of their person.

Contrary to what others may perceive, I have lived a relatively complicated existence, particularly in personal and family affairs. I am not ashamed, nor regretful – I am where I am, and I am trying my best to get where I want to be, complications and all. As much as I would want to create a smooth road ahead for my kids, one with no turns, twists and rough spots, I cannot. It is probably best that way. It will help them deal with things, know how to address their problems, and teach them not to waste time on regrets.

All these in just one gown-fitting session? Oh no. I’m getting all old and sentimental. Hand me that ice cold Coke now.

“There are only two lasting bequests
we can hope to give our children.
One of these is roots, the other, wings.”
- Hodding Carter

Happy birthday, Kayla. We love you and adore you everyday.

sun*star.baguio.28jan2010.

a mother’s grief

How can you measure a mother’s tolerance? When does a mother say “enough” and mean it in every way?

If you are one who is abreast with current events you are probably already aware of the capture of Jason Ivler, known as the road rage gunman who allegedly shot the son of Palace Undersecretary Renato Ebarle, Sr. in November of last year. Two months after Ivler became a fugitive, he was found at a stock room in his mother’s house in Quezon City. Now his mom has been charged of obstruction of justice, for coddling a fugitive. Frankly, I do not think she even cares about the charges. Her son is in the ICU of a hospital after gunshot wounds that could have ended his life, when he opened fire on the authorities who intended to arrest him.

I feel so sad for Ivler’s mom. Sure, many would be quick to judge her and say she should not have tolerated her son from the very beginning. That is very easy to say, especially if you are not in the same situation. Often we just give our opinions and tend to be quick to judge others, without even having a clear grasp of what happened, without really putting ourselves in the place of the person concerned. It is easy to start your sympathetic statement with “I understand what you are going through…” or “I know what you’re going through…”, but do we really mean it? There are some things you will not really be able to comprehend, or even approximate, unless you are in the same situation.

Mothers (ok, even dads, lest I get some hate mails, but I’d stick to mothers for purposes of our chat since I am discussing Ivler’s mom’s situation here) would definitely always want the best for their kids and would want to raise their children in the best way possible. But what exactly is the best way? There is no foolproof formula, and although you see thousands and thousands of books and articles out there on raising kids and dealing with kid problems, it is very difficult to find the best way. I deal with that dilemma every single day. My three daughters are all smart, assertive and headstrong, I tell you, and there are times I feel I am wrapped around their little fingers because they can get oh-so adorable and persistent. Sometimes in dealing with them and their minute problems I would stop and question myself if I am doing the right thing. You just cannot put kids in categories and deal with them the same way because they differ – in attitudes, in moods, in the way they deal with situations. As a mother you are thus expected to adapt and adjust if you want to fully appreciate and understand your children – individually – and treat them in accordance with their special wants and needs. And that tends to be very difficult, you will probably lose your mind if you do not stop and laugh it off every once in a while.

I cannot imagine what must be going on inside Marlene Aguilar’s mind, much less what’s in her heart right now. On the other hand, it is also unthinkable to lose your child the way Mrs. Ebarle lost hers – or in any other way for that matter. The agony and pain in either case is inconceivable. I hope and say a prayer we can all be spared from having to find out for ourselves.

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss
at the bottom of which
you will always find forgiveness.”

– Honoré de Balzac

sun*star.baguio.21jan2010.

faithful twisted minion

I have been a fan of Jessica Zafra since I first laid eyes on her first Twisted book way back 1995, courtesy of my college friend and Thursday Club alumna, Toni. (Wait, or was it Manny?) Anyway, I’m still in touch with both friends through FB (where else…) so I am reminded to post on their wall and thank whoever was responsible for introducing me to The Zafra. Ever since I got that first book, I have acquired every copy of her Twisted series, well, except Twisted Travels (be getting one soon). She now has 11 books in the series, which are practically anthologies of everything she has ever written in her many columns in major dailies, not only in the Philippines but also in HongKong. In my college days, I used to subscribe even to the now-defunct Today newspaper of Teddy Locsin, because that’s where Z’s column used to appear.

Despite not having been able to fervently follow up her other works, I never hesitated to get one whenever I saw new books in the Twisted series. The news of the release of Twisted 8 ½ just before Christmas caused me A LOT of panic as I realized I still have not gotten a copy of Twisted 8. I still get to read her column in The Philippine Star, although sometimes it gets to my ego a teeny-weeny bit. Ever since I started writing for my own column it is quite difficult, a little bit on the painful side even, to read The Zafra’s writings and manage not to cower in the corner, trembling with inferiority complex (to borrow the favorite phrase of Atty. Larry, my Consti Law prof). Oh well, bring it on for Z.

So yes, you can say The Zafra has a lot of influence on me as a “writer” (I twitch when I claim that, but I figured, I write so I must be a writer. Ha ha.), not to mention as a reader. I will not, however, even attempt to write like her. Z writes magnificently – well, magnificent could not even approximate my praises for her work. She can turn any ordinary topic into one of uttermost significance, and even probably the most boring subject matter into an extraordinary piece. And she does read a lot, and watches EVERYTHING. I read my first classical romance, Jude Devereaux’s A Knight in Shining Armor, and hundreds of other books because she mentioned-slash-reviewed them in her columns; I also saw (and well, planned to see) hundreds of movies that come off as interesting in her articles. Her theories on world domination, and on Melanie Marquez are just oh-so hilarious, and fantastic. I am at a loss for adjectives here, while drooling at the same time. Go to http://www.jessicarulestheuniverse.com to get a dose.

The Zafra does not write about all things sugary sweet and nice. In fact, most of the time she sounds like the founder/ president of the International Sarcasm Society (slogan: “As if we need your support.”). She tends to be very sarcastic and gloomy about things, but I truly, immensely enjoy her writings. In more ways than one, she is my mentor, except that it is really all one-way. Nonetheless, I do not wish to be like her, or to write like her, because…well, I will run out of magnificent things to read. That will be too sad and awful.

sun*starbaguio.14jan2010.

365 mornings

I love mornings. Sure it is quite difficult to get up with such a chilly air, and as soon as I press my mobile phone when its alarm sounds off every morning, I always wish to go back and snooze once more under the warm covers. Our room is warm and cozy, and as soon as I get to the door I feel the cold and wish it were another lazy weekend, or that the holidays are not over yet. Nonetheless, I welcome each morning as a sign that a new beginning lies ahead, that there is yet another chance, that hope beckons.

And, of course, obligations await. I call it ‘werk’. I just like the less stressful term – none of the cold, hard sound that comes with “labor”, or the impersonal, burdensome pressure that goes with “career”. ‘Werk’ is my personal term for that thing you do to keep food on the table, that activity you undertake to fund the basics, that pursuit you cannot do without no matter how you claim you detest it (well, sure, there are days), and that endeavor which keeps you feeling alive day in and day out (on weekdays at least). I have never met a person who is totally, absolutely in love with his work everytime, all the time, with no complaints whatsoever – hey, everybody is entitled to grumble and whine about work once in a while, I think that is part of being human. But it is an inevitable part of life, this thing called werking. Excuse my rambling, this is what happens when brain cells are still adjusting in between the last days of the past year and the new days of the year ahead. But how great is that! 365 mornings ahead!

I will miss 2009. I ended it with a bang, so to speak. It is like I have ticked off everything on my 2009 “bucket list”. In the last few days of 2009 I had these as great memories of the passing year: (1) Finally watched Kimmy Dora (laughed so hard I almost cried); (2) finished Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief (actually, started with Book 2, The Sea of Monsters); (3) read Jessica Zafra’s Twisted 8 (“Ms. Z, we are not worthy…”); (4) caught up on the pre-hiatus episodes of The Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl (shamelessly declaring my fondness for juvenile shows, what can I say, I’m a teenager caught up in an aging woman’s huge body hahaha); and most importantly, (5) had lots of fun time with my family. Ain’t life just grand?

The best thing of all is that I did not really have a 2009 “bucket list” – no such list to tick off, no inventory to check against. I just knew I was ending it good, and I look forward to good times ahead, hopefully better. But you know, sometimes, good is good enough.

“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life
are something to do, something to love,
and something to hope for.”
- Joseph Addison

sun*starbaguio.07jan10.

madame hope, signing in

Whenever the yuletide season is upon us, we get the chance to be childlike again, and just for a few unguarded moments blurt out what we want to receive from Santa. On my part it’s a toss between an IPod Touch 32GB and one of those really light but high-powered netbooks – preferably pink. I know there was no way in the world I could get either, but as one of my mantras go: Dreaming is free. There is no tax, no service charge, no price hike, no penalty when we speak of dreaming, and dreaming big, which is the most fun of all.

I hope you had a grand time on Christmas eve, and Christmas day, with your family, and other people who mean the most to you. There is just a high price some of us have to pay with this grand time – and that’s a tipping to the right of the weighing scale. Nope, I haven’t tried just yet unless I get so disheartened I would not want to eat on New Year’s Eve, which might offend those who have prepared the feast – myself included. Is it possible to offend oneself? I don’t want to find out especially during the holidays. All positive energy please, I would not want to invite negative vibes as the new year approaches.

I hope you do the same too. Reject all the negative aura that may try to suck the life out of holiday glee. In “The Secret” (Rhonda Byrne) there is a striking theory which goes: “The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. What you think about most, you attract to you, in large part because you act on the basis of what you think and believe, and your results follow your actions…The energy from your thoughts, feelings, and action ripple out into the Universe, and like a magnet draws in like-minded people and circumstances.” In short, the universe only gives back what you send out to it, in the form of thoughts and ideas.

Many fortune tellers and psychics are now gracing tv programs to give their predictions for 2010. I make a stand on the following predictions for next year, courtesy of Madame Hope:

* People will get better programs for recovery, and consider the traumas of Ondoy and Pepeng things of the distant past from which we have learned our lessons;
* We will be blessed with good seasons that will make for fruitful harvests and productive livelihood;
* It will be an excellent year for business, for travel, for weddings, for everything you plan to do with the best of intentions;
* By mid-May there will be a significant increase in the number of enrollees in educational institutions across the nation;
* We will have clean and honest elections, with everyone being vigilant enough to guard his votes and ensure that the right of suffrage is freely exercised;
* We shall finally see our economy rise and our social conditions improve, with elected leaders who will give due regard to the general welfare over and above their personal interests; and
* 2010 will be a good year for everyone. Period.

Have a peaceful and prosperous New Year. Keep the faith in 2010.

sun*starbaguio.31dec09.

extraordinary gifts

Every year, I have this plan to start my Christmas shopping as early as January by listing all the names of the people to whom I will give (material) gifts come the Yuletide season. The plan is perfect in my mind: I will choose several from the list every month (ideally, a fixed number monthly) and get them gifts that I would keep and just wrap by December. Never happened.

As usual I am up to my neck in this hectic season, preparing for the kids’ school parties (having kids in different schools can be a pain, FYI!), preparing for the office party, and get-togethers that seem to be the “in” thing every Christmas season. But that’s half of the fun – getting good bargains, picking out specific gifts that you know would be appreciated by the recipient, wrapping each gift with crisp, brightly-colored gift wrappers. As I spent one late night wrapping presents, the gloomy silence caused me to think about people out there, still suffering from the aftermath of the global recession, still not fully recovered from the misfortune brought about by this year’s typhoons or still not moving on from any personal loss or other adversity: Can they feel the spirit of the season as with the rest of the world?

I sincerely hope so.

Material gifts are not the ones always wanted. I believe there are extraordinary gifts we can partake not only this season, but every day of the year:

The gift of TIME: quality time with your family, memorable moments with your friends. My Mama wrote down this special SMS message in her notebook: “One great gift you can give [to others] is Time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life which you cannot get back.”

The gift of FRIENDSHIP: “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” (Albert Schweitzer)

The gift of GRATITUDE. Appreciation of others: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” (Melody Beattie)
Gratitude to God: “As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world.” (Adabella Radici)

The gift of FORGIVENESS: “Forgiving is love’s toughest work, and love’s biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love’s power to break nature’s rule.” (Lewis B. Smedes)

The gift of ACCEPTANCE, clearly conveyed in this passage: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and ‘rightdoing’, there is a field. I will meet you there.” (Jalaj ad-Din)

Let it be a season of giving any – or if possible – all these extraordinary gifts. They do not cost anything, but may mean the world to those you share them with. Merry Christmas, everyone!

(sun*starbaguio.24dec09)

athena’s gift

“THERE was joy, the remembered joy of someone
who had been a reader all her life,
whose world had been immeasurably enlarged
by the words of others.”
- Anna Quindlen

One of my favourite stories about J. K. Rowling, the famed writer of the Harry Potter series, is how she was rejected by so many publishers, dismissing her work as not having a proper place with the reading audience – being too long and dark for children, and too incredible for adults. As if touched by magic straight out of its own plot, the series has since then made history as one of the best-selling books of all time. It likewise opened the gates of opportunities for both writers and readers, to take advantage of the popularity of “tweener” lit (literature that will cater to the taste of children, adults and those in “between”) and of trilogies, series and sagas. Many writers followed suit, and us readers are now offered a great variety of fiction about a greater variety of characters, from wizards and witches, to vampires, to angels and many other fictional characters who never cease to amuse us.

Sometime in July of this year, Mike showed me and Kayla, our eldest, a newspaper clipping on “Percy Jackson and the Olympians”, a series of fiction books authored by Rick Riordan. It tells the story of Percy, a boy afflicted with dyslexia and ADHD, who turns out to be a modern-day boy whose life is intertwined with the gods and goddesses of Greek mythology. The series consists of five books: The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters, The Titan’s Curse, The Battle of the Labyrinth and The Last Olympian. We immediately got excited at the concept. This is so much like Harry Potter, but instead of witches and wizards, the characters would be Greek gods, goddesses and other mythical (mythological?) creatures. Most of the local bookstores only had either only the fourth or the fifth book. Fortunately, my good friend J was traveling then to the U.S. and got us a boxed set of the first three. We are forever grateful to you, J (amongst other reasons!).

Mike and Kayla wasted no time in starting with the three books. Had to wrestle for the first, actually. One of the things I want in this world is for my children to love reading, to develop a passion for it. When Kayla started with the Percy Jackson series I realized what is meant by the statement “Be careful what you wish for…”; she spent so many late nights, bargaining to finish just one chapter, then the next. But I’m elated nonetheless. Both have now finished all the five books, while I’m still struggling with the first. I wish I can just spend an entire week or two curled up in bed, just enjoying life with the Greek creatures. (Ok, be careful what you wish for. Again.) Now whenever my beloved father-daughter tandem spoke about what happened in the books I would glare at them until they speak in hushed tones, probably scared that my Medusa stare can turn them into stone. At first I had mixed feelings about the book, ashamed to betray my Gryffindor house but I am now loving every page as the story progresses.

If you are not yet done with your Christmas shopping, I suggest you give your kids or any kid in your list, a good book to read. Encourage them to develop a love of reading. The book you give as a gift may be cheap or costly, but to develop in them the love of reading and the gift of knowledge is a priceless, perpetual gift they will forever cherish. Have a blessed season, dear readers.

sun*starbaguio.17 dec 09.

cherish

MY FAMILY came up with a great plan way back the beginning of this year, to raise enough funds for an out-of-town trip that would allow us to get away from our busy lives and just spend quality time with one another in a considerably far-off place. Sure we do get to travel on several occasions to visit our beloved Lola Mama’s grave in Dagupan City but we were aiming for somewhere farther, somewhere involving more activities and events. During the planning stage, my daughters were in unison in suggesting the SM Mall of Asia. Amusing, right? Well, I was not at all surprised. A mallrat breeds mallrats – what else did you expect? Don’t get me wrong. I am not a mallrat, per se, just a “window-shopaholic”. Just looking, no buying–Defensive!

Anyway, so we did set up this huge empty canister of chocolates and started filling it up with five-peso and 10-peso coins (uh-oh, might get in trouble with Central Bank authorities for hoarding coins!) in anticipation of the trip, which we set for late this year. After long months of waiting, the anticipated family event finally was within our reach. Ashamed that we will further be judged as “mallrats” having only MOA in our itinerary, we included the Manila Ocean Park in our plans. Funny thing, though, my lovely older kids could not stop talking about going to “big, big SM” with their youngest sister. I seemed to be the only one anticipating the side trip to the Ocean Park!

So there we were in Manila, kids all seemingly cranky about the heat, dripping in sweat and eternally thirsty…nonetheless their joy and excitement shines through, probably just the thought of torturing helpless Mama whom they finally have all to themselves for a few days – at their beck and call, sans work, deadlines and house work, not to mention having no yaya around – was enough to keep them going. I tell you, my daughters had a field day – all of those 4D 3N we were loitering around the city.

My older kids have friends and classmates who would probably be amused at the thought of us being so excited for that Manila trip. Some people do have the luxury of time and resources to go elsewhere, even abroad, on a regular basis. We are starting one step at a time. We now have a strong resolve to make it an annual thing – go somewhere nice before the year ends, sort of an early Christmas gift for all of us. Sure we do try to squeeze in a summer beach trip but the Christmas air and festivities are different. Who knows, this time of year – next year – I may be writing about a Disneyland trip, and the year after that, a US trip. Dreaming is free, right? There is absolutely no statute prohibiting anyone from dreaming. And from dreaming BIG.

For now, I can proudly say my family had such a blast. We probably would feel the same elsewhere, but the ambiance makes it extra special too. The pictures are definitely great, but the memories are more than enough to warm our hearts.

I hope that despite the many negative things and issues surrounding our country today, you do get the time likewise to enjoy the holidays with your family. It does not necessarily entail a long trip or a grand feast, just the warm thought of being with your loved ones has the surprising effect of filling your heart with joy. The gift of family is one thing you should cherish this holiday season. That, in itself, is priceless.

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”
- Burton Hillis

sun*starbaguio.10dec09.

lunacy

After a year of waiting, countdowns and breathtaking trailers, it finally debuted on the big screen. A Twilight Saga fan that I am, I really set a New Moon date, for the girls. Not that it involved rejection and begging, the guys (a.k.a. our significant others) simply accepted the fact, and were probably very glad they were not forced to watch with us.

So there we were in a long queue, patiently waiting for that much anticipated second rendezvous with the gorgeous bloodsucker. When I watched on the opening day of Twilight a year ago, I felt like a senior citizen among the crowds of twentysomethings, teenagers and tweeners. This time I knew better. Other than my original Twilight movie dates who are college students, our New Moon party now involved my Mommy Vibes and Mareng Mitch, so it felt better knowing I wouldn’t look like a Twilight mom accompanying my daughter to the movie. Not that it really mattered. I’d probably watch even if I was THE oldest in line. The lovely Cullen is 104 years old anyway.

The lunacy does not end there. When we got inside Cinema 3, the only seats we got were about four rows away from the big screen. We hesitated – a bit – but thought it a blessing anyway, we can almost touch Edward. Ha ha ha. Crazy. As with the Twilight movie, the theater was full half an hour before the movie started. I took the time to scan the audience, a bunch of fellow lunatics giddy with anticipation, surprisingly a considerable number of males. No comment.

It is not surprising that the novels got cult following, but we know how movies tend to muddle our initial impression of the books. As they say, “do not judge the book by its movie”. This movie does not disappoint in that respect – it definitely did not do justice to the novel. But being in the theater to watch the adaptation is always so entertaining, although you cannot help but compare the dialogues and the scenes. The crowd’s reaction is part of what makes watching the movie fun. The audience would shriek at the sight of Edward, and some would let out muffled “screams” at the sight of Jacob (or Jacob’s abs). It is like there is some shame in rooting for Jacob, some feeling of betrayal for Edward. But others (including me), are not as conflicted as Bella. I mean, personally, I do not see any competition there. Sorry, Team Jacob.

Many parents and other concerned adults (yes, juvenile me speaking) are criticizing the saga for giving (teenage) girls false hopes about the man of their dreams, worried that these young girls might end up in a fantasy world, and be frustrated about not finding someone like Edward Cullen in the real world. Look at the bright side – in search of an Edward Cullen in real life, at least they won’t settle for some punk on the streets. Hopefully. Or they might end up a spinster waiting in vain for Edward, and you would not lose them to some idle, crabby husband. Kidding! I think we should be worrying more about raising them well, guiding them to know the difference between fantasy and reality. Let them know fiction is there to be appreciated and enjoyed, to enable us to travel through time, and to help us experience new things for ourselves, without necessarily “living” it. Well, at least during lucid intervals.

“Fiction gives us a second chance
that life denies us.”
– Paul Theroux

Btw, I just want to greet my significant other Happy Birthday tomorrow, the 4th of Dec. I may not get the Cullen guy but I want to think I got the next best thing. Guy.